Friday, March 14, 2008


Well, we went to visit Zach's family in Maryland for a week. So about the 2nd day in Zach said that we were going to have an Adventure Day. (Which is just something we do from time to time in order to satisfy Zach's spontaneity and both of our adventurous sides.)

On the 6th we drove out into the countryside of Maryland (lots to rolling hills, old barns, quaint towns with houses hundreds of years old. I eat that stuff up!!) Zach said we had 2 stops and so upon arriving at the first one, I was met with the cutest little red covered bridge. ( I have this obsession with them and have only seen 1 in my life, but never have driven over one or anything.) Naturally I was super excited and wanted to get out and explore, but Zach gave me just enough time to snap a picture and we were off. I was a little bummed as we were driving away, hoping we could have stayed a little longer, but Zach had more in store.

Our next stop cured that attitude because standing in front of us was another big red covered bridge! You can imagine my smile! This one was right next to a little park where we settled in and Zach revealed the purpose of our trip: A PICNIC! Complete with a picnic basket, blanket and all we made our way to the edge of this river and set up right in front of the bridge under a tree. We spent the rest of the afternoon there just enjoying the PERFECT 60 degree weather (insane for MD this time of yr.) and the sound of birds chirping and the river rushing.

At about sunset we packed up and headed back towards home. The sun was setting over the rolling hills and it was so BEAUTIFUL! We passed where we would have turned to go to Zach's house and I asked him where we were going. He said he wanted to show me his old house. As we kept driving, we came up a hill and to the left was this huge farm where they filmed the movie "For RIcher or Poorer." The house was really nice so I pointed it out. Zach said, "well let's check it out!" (Little did I know, he was actually planning to turn in there anyways. Funny how that worked so well.) We drove down the long driveway and I was telling Zach that we needed to get out of there, that we couldn't be there etc. etc. He insisted it was ok. In the middle of trying to convince him to leave I looked to my right and saw this tiny private red covered bridge. I said, "Look at that, another covered bridge!!" In my head I'm thinking, how cool is the Lord, to accidently let us come down here so that I could see just one more bridge today! Little did I know I was about to see really how cool the Lord was!

At this time it was just at dark. Zach told me to get out of the car and we started walking towards the bridge. I noticed these white bags with candles in them lighting a path to the bridge and I'm obliviously thinking, "Why do these people have a lighted path to their bridge?" But as Zach grabbed my hand and we got closer what was happening began to hit me. I looked at him and said, Zachhhh..." Once we got to the front of the bridge I looked inside and there were lit candles lining the edges and rose petals scattered on the floor and along the  shelves. There were also bouquets of wildflowers lining the ground as well (Those are my favorite!) He said he knew I would put all this together so he was just going to get to the point, but he said that he knew he would be so nervous and forget everything he was going to say so he wrote it down. He began to read me this beautiful letter. I'm probably going in and out of consciousness by now so the rest is pretty hazy.  Before I knew it he was on one knee asking me to marry him. I started crying and covered my face with my hands. After a few seconds Zach asked, "Is that a yes?" I said YES! He stood up and gave me a hug and I just started laughing, so filled with joy, a longing fulfilled.

Next, he went to take the ring out of the box, (I still hadn't seen it because it was pretty dark by now) but Zach was so nervous that he dropped the ring!! It fell right next to a huge crack in the covered bridge. The ring is wooden so it would have floated right away! We both started laughing and it was such a good addition to the story (surely one to tell the grandkids). After he got the ring on my finger we prayed together and just thanked the Lord for orchestrating such a beautiful and perfect thing. Then we danced for a bit and talked for a while about how the Lord put everything together, from showing Zach the ring, to how he told Zach when and where to do it.

It was truly such a beautiful day and we are both just so thankful that we have a God that loves us so much that he put this whole thing together!


Tuesday, March 13, 2007


I going to have to peace out on the blogging for a while. Not that I don't love outwardly processing, typing as therapy, and sharing my thoughts for all you, but this is strictly Mal and her journal time. So just leaving with these lyrics. If any words could speak for me right now, it would be these.

"Sitting, and waiting, for You. Sitting here and waiting for Your voice. Are you speaking, or are you keeping silent? Have you spoken or have I missed your plan? I am broken, and I am empty again. I am hoping, and I am growing weak. You are my God and my Shepard, You said if I ask, then You speak. Come now and restore my sould passion, to be here and be Yours forever. I am here waiting for Your voice and Your heart. I am here waiting for You." -'Wait' Throneroom Worship


Friday, March 9, 2007


Isn't is awesome how we serve a constant, unfailing God? Think about it, how many people come into our lives, they may let us down, or just meant to be in our lives for a season. Either way it is inconsistent. And that hurts. It hurts to feel let down, or sometimes feel 2nd best. But our God is a God of promises and those he will keep! He is the only one we can go to when the world has yet again failed us. And on top of that, He loves us, with a constant love. UNCONDITIONALLY. Even if we may not feel it, it is there. It's like the sun in the winter; we may not feel it as much, but it is still radiantly burning above us, giving us life. Whether we are in the winter or summer of our spiritual lives, HIS FIRE STILL BURNS BRIGHT WITHIN US; THATS A PROMISE!

"For there is no power, below or above, that can separate us from the depths of His love. I am my Beloveds and now He is mine. He has paid with bloodshed, the price for all time."
-Throneroom worship (Thanks b-fri)

I give YOU all that is mine!

Monday, March 5, 2007

back to the gym

I have one of the bestest friends in the whole world who blesses me so much everytime i get to spend time with her. Tonight I was just sitting down with my b-fri Alex Russ and we were just doing what we do best: wearing our hearts on our sleeves. I told her that were just a bunch of open heart surgery patients, walking around with our guts totally exposed for everyone to see.

We were talking about how hard it is being back home right now after our big 6 months away from reality and I got this huge revelation. It was an analogy OF COURSE IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!

I got the analogy of a person who has not worked out for a while and then they decide to start working out. When they first begin, they are tired easily, and they are really sore afterwards. The muscles are being torn and stretched so that they can grow bigger. And I feel like that is exactly where I am right now. In a place of stretching and tearing. I feel weak, and out of touch. Some days I don't feel like pushing any more. But I realized that that is just my spiritual muscle being streched right now. It's being put to max capacity so that I may grow stronger and I will be able to live in this world, but not of it. I have been out of the world, it seems for a while; out of the gym. But now I'm and back to the gym; back to reality and living in a crazy and far from perfect world and I feel out of shape. But just like working out, things will get easier. I will get in shape. But that doesn't mean its time to throw in the towel. That means its time to add more weight. When you're working out, the only way your muscles will continue to grow bigger is if you constantly push further. If you just use the same weight over and over, you will be in shape, but you won't get any bigger. This is why I have to always want more, to know more, to seek more of Jesus and dive deeper into his mysteries. My spiritual muscles are being worked to their limits at the moment, but all I can do is just REJOICE, and PRAISE Jesus for where I am. And use it for fuel to just seek harder, love harder, pray harder, overcome, and just be.


Friday, February 23, 2007

dance unashamed

So I was driving home from school this morning, listenin to the good old i-pod. I put on this playlist that my friend Mary had made for my planeride home from Australia, and I just kept on driving, kind of listening to the music, kind of not. It's like you've got the music playing, but you're really just thinking about what's for lunch, or why that guy is following you so close, or what the plans for the rest of the day are, and "hey, why is my butt sweating?" seat heaters! But today this one song just popped out of nowhere. It's like the volume just came up, and it was screaming, "listen to me! listen to me!" It was Brandston's "Nobody dances anymore." Here's the lyrics-->

You wanna play it safe,

Don't wanna step out.
You gotta pretend so no one finds out.
You gotta break free,
You gotta break out
So everybody knows what you're all about.

Don't be afraid to be the one to start it up,
It's a party, once you turn it on it's hard to turn it off.
Listen to the music,
Turn it up, let it go.
Take it in until you feel it take control.

Nobody dances anymore,
Nobody takes chances anymore.

So, besides the fact that I was singing and dancing like an idiot in the car, God really spoke to me a lot through this song. And I finally realized why Mary put it on that playlist (considering the majority of the other songs were serious worship songs.)

Ok, I'm all about analogies, I know total nerd, but it's how God speaks to me a lot, and I LOVE IT! So I like to think about the music that they are talking about in this song as like God, and his voice, and everything that comes with that whole package. We need to just listen to God. Forget about everyone else (not trying to sound mean or anything), but turn him on and turn him up so that nothing else can be heard, and when we do this, He's gonna take control. He's gonna override all the other voices that are spinning around in our heads that we constantly find ourselves listening to.


The guys said it perfect, "You gotta break free, You gotta break out. So everybody knows what you're all about." Stop caring about what other people are going to think. I find myself doing that so often. Not doing certain things because I feel like someone will judge it. But I'm beginning to realize that there is a limit to how much we should care about what people think. There is a difference between wisdom and insecurity. People will judge, but the great thing is, God deals with that for us! I believe when we finally break out of that shell and be totally unashamed before the Lord, that is when we will Shine like stars just as is talks about in Philippians 2: 12-18. That is when people will see Jesus through us. Because we are different! CLAIM IT!

So, go do it! RUN, DANCE, PLAY, SING, SHOUT. and do it like only one person is watching. He is all that matters.

Oh, here's the music video. It's really funny. It will probably inspire you.
-->watch this junk!<--

so much love. <3>

Friday, February 9, 2007


I want you to think about something for a second... when was the last time you bought something that you didn't need?

for me, it was an IBC cherry soda from work. I justified it on the fact that I get 50% off and so since it's a deal, I might as well.
Maybe for you it was that latte from Starbucks, or the Daily Grind if you know what's best for ya! And that's probably not the first time youve splurged on one this month, if not this week! (I know I am guilty!)

Today I got to see a website that basically blew all justifications out of the window. (credit to Tatum Downs for giving me the link). The website was for a group called the Mocha Club. And basically it shows how far just 2 Mochas ($7) can go in a place like Africa.

In the U.S., $7 = 2 mochas

In Kibera, Kenya, $7 =
3 meals in a day for 9 orphans

In Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, $7 =
1 school term for 2 children

In all of Africa, $7 =
clean water for 7 Africans for 1 year!!!!!

After looking at these statistics I was immediately overwhelmed with emotion, and like Annie, I'm a crier. So I sat there and thought... if I only gave up something I don't even need 2 times every month, I could be changing a child in Africa's life. I could be giving hope where there is none... Alot of times, that's where it stops. Just thinking. No doing. I was challenged today, to follow my heart of living simple,
“Live simply so that others may simply live.”

I know this may sound like another one of those commercials with that old guy asking you to donate money, but this is just my heart, overflowing with love and passion for these people. If I only affect one, it will be worth it.

Here's the website
just check it out, it may have the same affect on your heart as it did mine.

Monday, February 5, 2007


In times during life when it just feels pointless and numb, unexciting and without challenge is it possible to THRIVE?

"If you would live in victory over the circumstances, great and small, that come to you each day...
...and if you want God's life and power to well up from the depths of your being...
...then you must refuse to be dominated by the seen and felt." -Amy Carmichael

Yes! The last line of that quote sums it up. We cannot let our lives be driven by cricumstances that we are in, things we see happening in life and the way it makes us feel. But we ask, how can we conquer if there is no mountain in front of us in the first place? When it feels dry and desolate, when we are just asking for a big challenge to grow us, to keep us busy, something of exciement to work towards, and all we see is flat deserts...

We take this seemingly dull life and THRIVE in Jesus. Let Him come and fill our innermost being. let him bring excitement to a cloudy day. Just as I talked about in the look up blog, we need to do just that. We don't have to have a huge challenge before us, we just need to live and breathe Jesus. If it's such a dull and gloomy day, what better thing to do than to go inside, into the secret place and fall into the arms of our Daddy above? It's all about a heart attitude. You can grow just as much in Jesus in the quiet and solitude as you can engaging in a huge battle.

"You must look steadfastly through the visible, until the invisible opens up to you." -Amy Carmichael

Jesus forgive me for only knowing this in my head and not my heart. Help me to look past the circumstances of each day and instead look to you. Teach me that it is ok to have dullness. Help me to embrace the solitude.