I going to have to peace out on the blogging for a while. Not that I don't love outwardly processing, typing as therapy, and sharing my thoughts for all you, but this is strictly Mal and her journal time. So just leaving with these lyrics. If any words could speak for me right now, it would be these.
"Sitting, and waiting, for You. Sitting here and waiting for Your voice. Are you speaking, or are you keeping silent? Have you spoken or have I missed your plan? I am broken, and I am empty again. I am hoping, and I am growing weak. You are my God and my Shepard, You said if I ask, then You speak. Come now and restore my sould passion, to be here and be Yours forever. I am here waiting for Your voice and Your heart. I am here waiting for You." -'Wait' Throneroom Worship
loveage.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
constant
Isn't is awesome how we serve a constant, unfailing God? Think about it, how many people come into our lives, they may let us down, or just meant to be in our lives for a season. Either way it is inconsistent. And that hurts. It hurts to feel let down, or sometimes feel 2nd best. But our God is a God of promises and those he will keep! He is the only one we can go to when the world has yet again failed us. And on top of that, He loves us, with a constant love. UNCONDITIONALLY. Even if we may not feel it, it is there. It's like the sun in the winter; we may not feel it as much, but it is still radiantly burning above us, giving us life. Whether we are in the winter or summer of our spiritual lives, HIS FIRE STILL BURNS BRIGHT WITHIN US; THATS A PROMISE!
"For there is no power, below or above, that can separate us from the depths of His love. I am my Beloveds and now He is mine. He has paid with bloodshed, the price for all time."
-Throneroom worship (Thanks b-fri)
I give YOU all that is mine!
Monday, March 5, 2007
back to the gym
I have one of the bestest friends in the whole world who blesses me so much everytime i get to spend time with her. Tonight I was just sitting down with my b-fri Alex Russ and we were just doing what we do best: wearing our hearts on our sleeves. I told her that were just a bunch of open heart surgery patients, walking around with our guts totally exposed for everyone to see.
We were talking about how hard it is being back home right now after our big 6 months away from reality and I got this huge revelation. It was an analogy OF COURSE IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!
I got the analogy of a person who has not worked out for a while and then they decide to start working out. When they first begin, they are tired easily, and they are really sore afterwards. The muscles are being torn and stretched so that they can grow bigger. And I feel like that is exactly where I am right now. In a place of stretching and tearing. I feel weak, and out of touch. Some days I don't feel like pushing any more. But I realized that that is just my spiritual muscle being streched right now. It's being put to max capacity so that I may grow stronger and I will be able to live in this world, but not of it. I have been out of the world, it seems for a while; out of the gym. But now I'm and back to the gym; back to reality and living in a crazy and far from perfect world and I feel out of shape. But just like working out, things will get easier. I will get in shape. But that doesn't mean its time to throw in the towel. That means its time to add more weight. When you're working out, the only way your muscles will continue to grow bigger is if you constantly push further. If you just use the same weight over and over, you will be in shape, but you won't get any bigger. This is why I have to always want more, to know more, to seek more of Jesus and dive deeper into his mysteries. My spiritual muscles are being worked to their limits at the moment, but all I can do is just REJOICE, and PRAISE Jesus for where I am. And use it for fuel to just seek harder, love harder, pray harder, overcome, and just be.
I AM BLESSED
We were talking about how hard it is being back home right now after our big 6 months away from reality and I got this huge revelation. It was an analogy OF COURSE IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!
I got the analogy of a person who has not worked out for a while and then they decide to start working out. When they first begin, they are tired easily, and they are really sore afterwards. The muscles are being torn and stretched so that they can grow bigger. And I feel like that is exactly where I am right now. In a place of stretching and tearing. I feel weak, and out of touch. Some days I don't feel like pushing any more. But I realized that that is just my spiritual muscle being streched right now. It's being put to max capacity so that I may grow stronger and I will be able to live in this world, but not of it. I have been out of the world, it seems for a while; out of the gym. But now I'm and back to the gym; back to reality and living in a crazy and far from perfect world and I feel out of shape. But just like working out, things will get easier. I will get in shape. But that doesn't mean its time to throw in the towel. That means its time to add more weight. When you're working out, the only way your muscles will continue to grow bigger is if you constantly push further. If you just use the same weight over and over, you will be in shape, but you won't get any bigger. This is why I have to always want more, to know more, to seek more of Jesus and dive deeper into his mysteries. My spiritual muscles are being worked to their limits at the moment, but all I can do is just REJOICE, and PRAISE Jesus for where I am. And use it for fuel to just seek harder, love harder, pray harder, overcome, and just be.
I AM BLESSED
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